It's Monday night and my baby is still fighting to stay with us. Today has been a day that God wanted to show me he is all around. I knelt beside of Becka for a couple of hours yesterday with my head on her shoulder. We were alone, and I told her goodbye. I was distraught the entire time. I kept praying all day that God would give me some peace. I know I'm in mourning but I just couldn't stop crying and nothing helped. I also prayed that God would let me know Becka could still hear me and respond one more time. This morning, God gave me what I had prayed for. Beck communicated with me and kissed me, then she gave Ruth and Debbie a kiss this morning, and God took so much off of my heart. Tonight I'm at peace, and it's the first time in a week. I have actually laughed a couple of times. Whoever is praying for me, please keep it up! I know that a bus load of pain is coming for me, but I'm going to enjoy the serenity God has given me through the words and deeds of all of you. There is no way I could make it through this without family and friends. I feed off of your Faith and your energy. Everything is going to be okay after all is said and done. If I didn't know that Becka is going to Paradise to be with the Lord soon, it would be different, but I know she is.
Gina is here! I picked her up at the airport today. I had to get out of the hospital for a bit or I was going to lose it. It's fantastic that she got here in time. I also called our friends Andrew and Jen today so that they could talk to Beck and tell her goodbye. I called them in advance so that they could think about what to say, then I called them back and held the phone to Beck's ear. She can still hear everything that's going on. They both talked to her for a while. I don't know what they said. It's between them and her, and God, but it needed to be done. Andrew gave her away at our wedding to me, and Jen was her Maid of Honor.
She's breathing well tonight and snoring even, but there is still a rasp in her chest, so they may have to clean out her lungs again before the night is done.
Something is going wrong with the internet connection in the hospital tonight, so I'm going to sign off and go to bed. I will keep you updated, and please keep praying. Prayers are working. My Baby isn't feeling any pain, and tonight my pain level is tolerable. The three sisters are in the room with Beck praying and singing. By three, I mean Debbie, Ruth, and Gina. There are four of us staying here tonight with Beck. It's awesome, because these wonderful Christian sisters of mine are all that keep me going sometimes. I love them very much, and we are sharing each other's grief. I can tell you this. I know someone is special when everyone is crying, and they aren't gone yet. I can't imagine what the funeral is going to be like emotionally.
Going for now to take a walk downstairs with Gina. Sweet Dreams and God Bless.
