Day 239

It's Tuesday night and I'm a little bummed. First Ruth, then Gina. Friends and family make life so much  better. I know they had to go home to see their families, and that they will be back though. I just got back from taking Gina to the airport. She didn't want to leave, but she will be back soon. She missed her grandbaby though! That is the cutest kid. We have seen lots of pictures and she's a living doll! I had a bowl of Raisin Bran for supper. Debbie cooked but I didn't feel like heating it up. I'll eat some tomorrow. There are people who have a calming effect in storms, and Gina is one of those people. She has a gift of saying the right things at the right time. A guy at work today told me, "He knew how I felt". I told him that if he knew how I felt he'd be screaming. I know that at times like this, people don't know what to say. I've seen the expressions and knew that if they could pull their words out of the air and put them back, they would. It's fine, because I have to tell how Becka is doing about a hundred times a day. Sometimes it bothers me to relive it all day, but then I'm grateful for the fact that so many people care enough to ask. 


Beck is doing good tonight. The doctor has cut back on her steroids, so she should start feeling better. I pray she gets her strength back, and she already has gotten some of it back. I brought her some Combos from the airport, and I'm sitting here watching her through the back door. She really is gorgeous and beautiful in every way. We have several friends coming to see her this weekend. Please pray for their safe journey here.


An incredible thing happened to me today. Last night, a man contacted me to tell me that his friend had found my class ring and wanted to give it back. I lost it twenty years ago. I wrote them back and met them at McDonalds today. He has been looking for me for years because he wanted me to have my ring, and he didn't want anything in return. The hearts of people astonish me sometimes! God Bless Allan and Mike! You guys are now my friends for life! I'm copying this paragraph to my facebook! Becka has my ring on now. I guess we are going "steady". I wonder if I can get a kiss on the first date? I gotta try anyway. Wish me luck!


Today has been a good day. I'm grateful for every second of every day I get to spend with the most beautiful woman in the world.


 God Bless and sweet dreams! 

Day 238

It's Monday night and I just got home from work at Ten oclock. I had to go back in on an emergency. I'm so grateful for Debbie and Gina being here so that I'm able to go to work. Work is therapy for me. It gives me the sense of accomplishment, because when I'm here, sometimes I feel helpless. I've been trying to be strong lately and saying that I'm not going to grieve because I have nothing to grieve yet. My beautiful wife is still here with me, and she could outlive me for all we know, but the fact is that I grieve quite a bit. I think they were trying to kill me today with the music they were playing at work. First they played the song, "More than words" by Extreme, which is one of our favorite love songs. If you haven't heard it, head to Youtube after this and play it. Then they played, "It's your love" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. That reminded me of our wedding because we played it at the reception and during the service. Here's the real deal. There is a huge, gaping hole in my heart, and nothing could fill it right now. It's been there since she was diagnosed in November. I walk around here like I'm okay, when really I just want to scream. My memories are what will do me in eventually. The best and most loving, intimate, tender memories I have in life have been with Becka. We are still making them. Don't get me wrong. She tells me she loves me every day, several times a day, and I'm certain that she's telling the truth. I'm just scared, and I refuse to accept any of this. Eventually I will have to, but right now I don't. When I look in her eyes, I see nothing wrong. The love God created grows stronger every day. It carries me through the darkest times, which are right now. These are the worst times of my life, and the best at the same time, if that makes any sense. I've never felt closer to Becka in my life. There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be. I am where I belong. I just need all of you to carry me through this and get to the other side. My Baby is going to be okay. As long as I know that, I will be okay.


She had an appointment with her Oncologist today. Gina, Debbie, and I took her. He is a wonderful man and we love him very much. He cares deeply for his patients. He tapered her down off of her steroids so that she will feel better, and ordered an MRI in two weeks. Until then, there is nothing else we can do. I pray every day, all day, but my prayers have changed now. I just hope I'm praying in God's will. Only he can fix this. 


I'm going to get her off the couch and get to bed. God Bless you all. The fundraiser is going great! Thanks so much to Dwayne and Leslie, and to all of you. Sweet Dreams.

Day 237

It's Sunday night and we are getting ready for bed. Becka is exhausted but it's been a good day for her. She and I went to Walmart today and she rode on a mart cart, but the battery went down half way through the store, so I had to push her. We were going so fast that she was getting cold! Then we ran by Lowes Hardware and I bought her a hanging plant and a new hummingbird feeder. We have several hummingbirds in the back yard now. They are very cool, and I have the bird feeders positioned so that she can see them from the living room. I took Autumn to the doctor today. She had a cyst come up on her shoulder, and they said it was a staff infection. They don't think it's serious, but they lanced it and packed it so it won't close up, and she has to go back on Wednesday. She is so tough. She held my hand the whole time the doctor was working on it and I dabbed her eyes. They put her on antibiotics for a week and I bought some Advil. She should be fine. She and I talked on the way there, and I became quite emotional. I didn't mean to in front of her, but it just hit me all of a sudden, like it does a thousand times a day. How I get anything accomplished is by the grace of God. I took her afterwards and bought her a frappacino mocha with mint. Over the past six years, I have watched her grow from a child to a beautiful, intelligent young woman. She's SO like her mother in almost every way, yet she has quite a bit of individuality. I can't say in words how blessed I am to be her's and Andrew's stepdad. They trust me, and I've earned it. 


Becka has a doctor's appointment in the morning with her Oncologist. We will know then if he is going to start her on an oral chemotherapy. I still haven't heard from the doctor in the Caribbean, even though they promised to call me this weekend. I'm rather angry at them, and I'm getting the feeling that they are a "Dog and Pony" show, selling false hope. Maybe they can team up with a certain television Evangelist I'm not too fond of. It seems to be all about money. Becka and I talked today, and we know it's in God's hands, but she's getting frustrated at some of the things that are happening. Her body isn't cooperating, and she told me today that she's scared. I let her know that so am I. I also told her that no matter what happens, I will be right by her side, no matter what the Lord has planned for us. She's my partner, my soulmate, my wife, and my best friend in the world. Nothing could and would ever change that. When I said, "I do", I meant it. So here I am, watching cancer at it's worst, people at their best, my beautiful wife fighting through it, and God all around us. I'm praying for mercy and Grace, both of which he has given us in the past, and both of which he has an abundance of. 


All we have is today, and we made the most of it. Gina and Debbie cooked a fabulous supper and we had home made banana bread afterwards. Tomorrow means a lot to us. Whatever the doctor says will make or break our day. I will let you know what's going on as soon as I know. 


God Bless you all with all of my heart. One day I will be there for you. Sweet Dreams!

Day 236

It's Saturday night and I'm finally sitting down. It's been a fantastic day except Ruth went home. She's been an incredible blessing and has stepped up to the plate like no other. She went to spend some time with her kids, then she will be back. Debbie and Beck's Mom are here, and so is Gina and John. Gina is in the kitchen right now doing something special with strawberries. Andrew and I just came in. We have been outside building my creation. It's hard to describe. We made a "mister" that wraps around our air conditioner and sprays it with water while it's running to cool it down. It is made of PVC and hooks up to the water hose. I may try to patent them, because I've never seen them. They will reduce the air temperature that the air conditioning is blowing out by as much as ten degrees, so on these hot days, our house will be cool. I let Andrew build most of it. He helped me measure the pieces, then he cut them. We primer'ed the whole thing, then glued it together and drilled the water holes in it. It works great! I may post a picture of it on facebook tomorrow.


I had to work for about three hours this morning, then we spent the whole day together. We took Becka and Autumn to the eye doctor and got them both contacts, then we had lunch at the food court in the mall. Becka scared me when she got out of the car at the mall, because she fell and twisted her foot, but she was okay. Her flip flop had her trapped. She is going to wear tennis shoes from now on.


We thought we were having more visitors this weekend, but it's up in the air. All are welcome! I'm so tired I can barely hold my eyes open, so I'm going to bed in a few. Today has been a great day, and we are grateful for every great day! Good night and God Bless!

Day 235

Friday night and we are all watching the Olympic opening ceremony. So far it's been great! They have big shoes to fill after what China did last time. Ruth and Debbie cooked a fantastic supper and Gina cleaned up, so all I had to do was eat! Becka is doing great tonight, although she's moving slowly. John is on his way. We are SO very grateful to everyone who has already come to see Becka, and to everyone who is coming! I want to say that I appreciate everyone understanding she is sick and needs her rest. We have been limiting visits to thirty minutes or around there, because she is worn out easily. I'm also grateful for all of the positive energy brought in to this house. Everyone has left all of the bad at the door, and realized she needs to hear inspiring things. I know that when someone is sick, I don't know how to act or what to say, but all of you have been wonderful. Whatever makes her happy is all that matters, (to me anyway).


Dee and Mike left today. I'm praying for them to get home safely. They had a great visit, and I'm so grateful for the support. Thanks guys! We have more people on their way tonight, and even more coming next weekend, so I guess I need to clean the bathroom again, lol. 


I have to work in the morning for a bit, then I'm coming back here and get off my feet for a while. My broken toe throbbed all the way in to my ankle today, and it's because I've been on it too much. If I expect to get back to taekwondo anytime soon, I have to let it heal. 


We are waiting for the Olympians to come out so we can see if our Master is going to be on TV. Master Woo Sop Kim is the Captain of the US Olympic Taekwondo team. He's an incredible man and teacher, and I hope he brings home gold! Good night and God Bless. Same time tomorrow!

Day 234

It's Thursday night and it's been a very good day. Becka is doing great! She went with Gina and Ruth today to get her nails done and they look fantastic. She said she laughed the entire time the pedicurist was scrubbing her feet because it tickled! The little things that make her happy thrill me to the bone. I'm in the bedroom watching "Hannity" while they are in the living room laughing at the show "Wipe Out". It's one of Becka's favorites. She also loves the show "The Amazing Race". The new season for that is starting soon. 


My toe is better! It's not black anymore. It's more like dark blue, and I can actually bend it! It will be fine in about a week. I took Andrew to taekwondo tonight and I stayed and watched. He is learning how to throw a spinning back kick, and he's very good at it. I'm learning it as well. He and I made a pact to get our black belts together, and that's exactly what we are going to do. He loves his masters, and they love him. He is trying out for the demo team in January, and he shouldn't have any problem making the team. He's a natural! I told the school they need to start a geriatric team so I can join! We can do our form with our canes!


Today was a good day and tonight is a good night, that is all that matters. All we have is today, and we are making the most of it. My Baby is happy today. Everything else is secondary! We have new friends, Dwayne and Lesley Isaacs. They are a wonderful Christian couple who have set up fundraising for Becka. I had to mention them because they are working so hard for someone they have never met, and I've only met them one time. You can always tell God's people, because ultimately, they are working for him. Thank you Dwayne and Lesley, from the bottom of my heart, and thank you to all of the rest of you. I really mean it, and one day I pray that I can be there for you!


God Bless and goodnight! Sweet dreams, and please, if you love someone, be sure and tell them tonight. Don't wait until tomorrow!

Day 233

It's Wednesday night and what a difference a day makes. I'm still a wreck, but it's better than yesterday. I worked today until about 2:00, then took off so I could pick up Gina at the airport. For those of you who don't know Gina, imagine the most loyal, trustworthy, loving, kind, devoted friend you ever had, and multiply that times a million. I thank the Lord for getting her here safely. She tried to come up last week but the weather was so rough that the streets were washing away, but that's okay because she's here now! Tomorrow, Becka, Ruth, Debbie, Mom-(Becka's that is), Dee, and Fern can all sit around and talk about how cute Fern's daughter Emma is! (The kid is absolutely beautiful). All that matters tonight is that my gorgeous wife is happy. I'm going to bed early so I can get up and go to work early. I need to make up some hours. 


God wanted me to know that he was all around us today. Several times, things happened that strengthened my faith and let me know everything will be okay. I really for the life of me don't know how anyone can get through the day without faith in God and his divine plans for us. If I was an atheist, I would have fallen apart a long time ago. I can't tell you how many times in my life that God made himself real to me, and let me know that he was with me. I am eternally grateful for my life and for the blessings that I could never earn in a million years. If my Heavenly father loves me half as much as my dog does, then everything will be fine, because my dog thinks I hung the moon!


I've had a form of tunnel vision lately. I have to concentrate on one thing at a time, or I won't get anything done. With that said, I am grateful beyond words for the cards and gifts we have received from all of you. We are in the process of letting you know that. I just don't want you to think it has gone unnoticed. The three areas I focus on are taking care of Becka and the kids, my job, and the general household stuff. I will get around to telling all of you "Thank You" individually. I wish there were two of me so that I could get more done. Please just know that your generosity is an incredible blessing, and we know that it was given in love and in some cases sacrifice. God Bless You from the bottom of our hearts!


I'm going to call it a night in a few. Sweet dreams and thanks again. All of you have made a difference!

Day 232

Tuesday and another bad day. I can't go in to detail, but today was one of the hardest of my life. My emotions are running full speed. I know that I have to feel what I feel, but I'll be glad when there is joy in our lives again, on a regular basis. I just came in from mowing the yard. Try doing that with a broken toe, lol. My big toe on my right foot is twice it's size and blue. I had to go to shoe show today and buy some shoes that didn't hurt it so that I could work. My Master better be glad I wasn't angry! (Now that is funny. The man could kill me with his finger nail). The way this week has started off, I'm surprised I didn't drop something on it while I wasn't wearing steel toes. It hurts like the Dickens, (whatever that means. I have always wondered). 


Today was a good day for Becka. We had chicken and broccoli in the crock pot over rice for supper. It was excellent and it hit the spot. Becka has been sleeping a lot lately, but she's awake right now. Our friend Dee is here! I thank the Lord for getting her here safely. Her son and she drove here today and they are staying not far from here. They are coming to see Beck tomorrow, and Gina will be here tomorrow night! I'm picking my little sis up at the Raliegh airport. All of you have amazed me through this with your support for Becka and for me. God Bless you all!


I talked to the guy who is in charge of the Cancer Clinic in the Islands today. They aren't set up yet. I told him that time is against us. I also have been in contact with MD Anderson in Houston Texas, but they can't do any more for her than the doctors here. This is very discouraging, but we haven't stopped fighting and never will. As long as I can talk, type, and pray, I will fight. She's worth every second. I love my Baby more than I can express in words. She's my heart.


I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. God Bless and a special thanks to Leslie and Dwayne. You are two very special people, and I won't forget what you are doing. Thank you!


Good Night!

Day 231

It's Monday night and I'm really glad this day is over. Everything that could have gone wrong today did. It was "One of those days", and now I'm sitting here in pain. I just got home from Taekwondo class, and my master broke my toe again, but the real pain is much worse than that.


We are praying for an end to the suffering and anguish in this house. There is so much I would love to write and tell you, but for now I can't. One day soon, but not right now. Things are changing rapidly every day. We are scared and hurting, but we are together in this, all of us. Ruth, Debbie, Their parents, My family, the kids, we are all on the same page. I'm praying for strength, because I know I don't have it in me to get through this. We are so grateful for the people who are coming to see Becka. Her cousin Sarah came today and brought her a picture frame. It's very nice, one of those electronic ones. All of you have opened your hearts and lives to us, and we are grateful for everything you do. 


Time is against us here, and things are getting clearer. Together we can do this, but for now, my heart is torn to pieces and I can't breathe most of the time. God please help us through this. The storm is washing us away. Help us get to the other side. Please give me strength.


A prayer comes to mind, and it always applies in my life. God please grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, Amen.


Going to try and sleep. Good night.

Day 230

It's Sunday night and I'm finally winding down for the evening. This has been a great day. We spent the whole day together. Ruth and Debbie fixed a fantastic lunch with roasted chicken, salad, and fresh fruit, then Becka and I took Autumn to get her glasses repaired, and we went shopping at Kohl's. We had two ten dollar gift coupons, so we checked out separately, lol. Then we came back here and had tostados and ice cream for supper. Overall it was a very good day. I tried to call the Cancer Center in the Islands, but couldn't reach anyone today. It's discouraging that we haven't heard anything. We are praying hard. We all watched a sermon this morning from Gregg Laurie with Harvest Ministries. I ordered it from their website. I listen to Gregg every morning on my way to work, then John MacCarthur and David Jeremiah if I have time. We have a great Christian radio station here, and the word always starts my day on the right track, but the other day I was full of doubt, and Gregg Laurie gave this sermon. The title is, "Why do bad things happen to Christians". Gregg Laurie gives a powerful testimony. He lost his son in a car wreck about four years ago. If he didn't know the Lord, he wouldn't have made it. I know all about that. I don't have the strength in me to go through this with Beck, but God has carried us all. With him, all things are possible.


My beautiful wife is laying on the couch watching a cooking show. I'm in to Sci Fi so I'm in the bedroom watching "Falling Skies". Everyone has been working hard around here, so the house is in good shape. I still have a million things to do, but there is always tomorrow. It just occurred to me that I'm not afraid right now, and I haven't been all day. I'm very grateful for that. I've been praying for peace for everyone involved, and I think he gave it to me today. As long as she is okay, I am okay. 


I'm going to call it a night. God Bless you all. I pray that you never have to hate something as much as I do, (that something being cancer). As soon as Becka is okay, I'm devoting a large part of my life to raising money for cancer research. It's senseless for cancer to ever win. This disease is straight from Hell. It can attack her body, but it can't touch her soul. She's still the most unbelievable woman in the world, and she always will be to me. I love her so much.


Sweet Dreams

Day 229

It's Saturday night and I just got home from work. Becka is already in bed. She had a big day and was tired. I woke her up to pray and take her steroid, then she laid back down. She went a bunch of places today and I had to work, then we came back here, took a nap, and the whole family ate supper together. I love it when we can all spend time like that. 


We just prayed for God's will and direction, and I would ask that you would do the same. We are torn here, and time is of the essence. I found out that the cancer clinic isn't in operation yet in the Islands, and they don't know when they can take any patients. We are still in "GO" mode, and are making preparations. We are looking for signs from God as to what he wants us to do. Everyone here is scared and hurting inside. Becka is the most wonderful, sweet, loving woman I know, and she doesn't have an enemy in the world. Some days nothing makes sense, and I feel anger in my heart for what she is going through. It's times like that I have to remember that God didn't give her cancer. I'm selfish when it comes to her. She owns my heart, so when she is sick, it is too. Life has meaning when I'm in her arms, and there is nowhere else I want to be. I'm still praying for the same thing I was praying for 200 days ago-"time". Time with her is all I want or need. Everything else is secondary right now. 


I'm going to lay down with her and watch her sleep. God Bless and thank you for all that you do. The support we have received is incredible. One day I will make it up to you, but for now, I'm going to lean on you a while longer. I need you to carry me to the finish line. 


Sweet Dreams.

Day 228

Friday night and we are watching "Clash of the Titans" and eating brownies. It's been pretty good so far. It has one of my favorite actors, Liam Neeson. It's a little demonic, but it's fantasy. I like movies that could never happen. It's slasher movies that I don't like. We are praying for the people in Colorado that were killed or wounded and their families. I can't even start to imagine how it must feel to watch your child leave for the movies, and then get a phone call. What kind of evil was in his heart and soul? I pray I never know. As Christians, we are surrounded by a hedge of protection. The enemy can tempt us, but he can't get in to our hearts. God be with those people please.


Becka is doing good today, but her mood has changed completely. Like I said, everything changes. I can tell a difference in her daily. She's sick and tired of being sick and tired, I can tell you that. Beck has been sick for over a year now. It all started with the hysterectomy, and then came the cancer. I can't remember when she felt normal. Most people would have given up by now, but not my Angel. There is no quit in her, or me, or Ruth or Debbie, or anyone here who loves her. Like they said in the Godfather, We are taking it to the mats! 


It's late and I have to work tomorrow. See you then! God Bless and good night.

Day 227

Thursday night and Andrew and I just got home from taekwondo. We had a great work out so I ought to sleep well tonight. Becka is doing good today. She went shopping and bought a new watch that she loves! She also bought some pajamas. Anything that makes her happy right now is fantastic! I spoke with Joe, who is the administrator of the Cancer Clinic in the Islands. We are working as hard as possible to get her down there. We found out that Blue Cross may pay for some of it, but United Healthcare won't, so we have to come up with a deposit. He's going to let me know how much in the next couple of days. I'll sell everything I have except for my soul and my heart. They are already spoken for between God and Becka. 


Things are changing and I'm handling it the best I can. I can't really go in to detail right now, but I guess acceptance is the key. My beautiful wife is still with me. She is still the same gorgeous Lady who I married, but we have lost a lot in the last year that probably won't come back. This whole experience has brought us closer together, and I'm closer to her family than ever, but Becka's and My relationship has changed. We were always very intimate with each other. She couldn't walk by me without me reaching out for her. That part hasn't changed. I can't explain it right now, but one day maybe I will be able to. My heart is full of love and pain, all of the time. That ache never goes completely away. There are times when I can barely feel it, and other times when I'm crying uncontrollably and can't breathe. My doctor recommended an anti-depressant, but I turned him down. I need to feel this in it's entirety, and never forget it. I pray that we can get her down to the Cancer Center before her condition gets worse. Becka is still herself, but the cancer and the treatments have taken a lot out of her. I hope and pray that what is gone comes back after the treatments. I don't want her to miss out on anything else in life, so I'm holding her body up to God and begging him to heal it, while clinging to her at the same time. I don't know if I'm making any sense. I really am a mess.


Please take time and look at the fund raiser page on my facebook. I opened my facebook up to anyone who wants to see it. You don't have to be a friend. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for your generosity. You are all blessings, but I can tell you this, she's worth it.


I need to unwind and forget about life for a bit, then go to bed. Good night and God Bless! See you tomorrow!

Day 226

It's Wednesday night and I'm finally sitting down. I got home from work then went straight back to work, so I'm a little tired. Becka wanted some Raisin Bran, so I stopped on the way home and we shared a bowl. She's doing well, and everything is proceeding as planned, (God's plan that is). He is guiding us through our hearts and through people, so we are trusting in him. All will be well no matter what.

I'm so tired I can't think straight, so I'm going to get my Baby in bed and try to sleep for a bit. God Bless and I will write some more tomorrow!

P.S. Debbie is here, Addie and the kids got here today safely, and Bo and her husband just left a while ago! People are coming in from all over the country! Thank the Lord for protecting them!

Day 225

It's Tuesday night and I'm a basket case. Some days are better than others. This wasn't one of them. I've been in "self pity" mode all day. I guess my emotions are catching up with me. All I thought about all day was my wedding day, and the day Becka and I met. Our memories aren't over yet. I called four times down to the Islands where Becka is going. We are trying to raise some money through a fund raiser that you will find on my facebook. My email is Disciplennc@aol.com. Send me a friend's request and I'll add you if you aren't already a friend on there. My memories are carrying me through this and hurting me at the same time. An amazing thing happened to me today though. I dreamed about a poem I was writing last night. In my dream, I just kept writing and didn't have to think about it, and when I woke up, I remembered it word for word and put pen to paper. I added to it a little, and one day I'll post it, but not right now. I think it was my subconscious telling me what to write. This helps me to post how I'm feeling, because it allows people to help me through this. We had so many people come to see us this past weekend. God Bless all of you! You all played a part in making Becka and myself very happy! I wish all of our friends were closer.  


There are outside influences causing me more pain than I need. The bad part is that it's all in my head, because I know they aren't trying to. Let me just say this. This isn't the time for any controversy, so please just save it for later. Everyone has their own motives in this, but it's not time to act like Becka is gone, because she isn't. I have proof, she has her feet on me as we speak. The doctors in the islands are going to be able to help her, I can feel it in my soul. It's like God is saying, "Get her there as soon as possible". This is how I feel. If we do everything possible, and God takes her to Heaven, then it's truly God's will. Randy's will is for she and I to be sitting in matching rocking chairs in thirty years. We shall see!


God Bless and I'm going to bed. Becka has had a very good day. She got some new shirts, pants, and a new phone that fits in her hand better. We had an upgrade to spare at Verizon! Life is good tonight, and that's large in part to all of you! Thank you for your support and God Bless you all. Love you guys!

Day 224

It's Monday night and I'm finally sitting down. I had to go to work early this morning because I had an emergency. One of my stores broke a freon line and I had to meet the fire department because they had evacuated the store. I ended up spending most of the day at that store, but it turned out okay. I'll never ever get caught up, but I guess they call that "job security".

Becka had her last radiation treatment today. We are in the process of sending her to the Island of Dominica for experimental and alternative treatments. Her sister is going with her, so it will just be me and the kids. We will skype with her every night, and pray with all of our hearts that they can help her. We are also in the process of trying to cash in her life insurance. If we spend every penny, sell everything we have including the dogs, and start completely over, it will be worth it if it gives her just one more day. Becka is a fighter, and she's not done. I've said it before, there will be no regrets. If there is an avenue we can pursue, we will do it. The treatments they are going to give her are being tried in the United States right now, but they are in the experimental stage. Dr Charles Rogers is renowned, and we think he can make her better. God is leading us and making a way for this to happen, so we are going to let him drive and get on the bus!

We had a feast for supper tonight. Jen and Catherine brought chicken, salad, hot dogs, and other stuff, and we cooked the chicken and the dogs on the grills, along with corn on the cob. It was marvelous!

Becka is doing well tonight. She is going to get progressively better because she wants to, and the treatments in the Islands are going to work. God will see to it! I have to go to bed for now, because I'm taking my niece to the airport in the morning at four oclock. Good Night and God Bless! Love you guys!

Day 223

I can't believe it's Sunday already. This weekend has flown by, but it's been wonderful. Becka has thoroughly enjoyed having everyone here, and Ruth has worked her butt off. Ruth has really stood up, directed, and coordinated everything, and she's done a fantastic job. She would make a great manager! Everyone has been wonderful and it's made Becka very happy to have them all here. I'm going to bed in a few because I'm exhausted and so is Becka. It's a good kind of tired though. This weekend has been very productive and emotional at the same time. We are all here together for one common purpose, and that is to support Beck. I learned something about myself today that I didn't know. In the past, I thrived on resentment and controversy, because it gave me a rush. Self righteousness was a major character defect of mine. It was all about me, and at least I wasn't as bad as-fill in the blank. Today, there is no room in my heart for resentment. Only love and compassion, because that is what I'm praying for Becka. Everyone who has come to see her has lifted her up and given her more hope, which is what she needs. This is not over until she gives up, and that isn't going to happen any time soon! God Bless Catherine, Jen, Laurie, John, Andrew, Casey, Michael, Tori, and a couple of others who don't want to be named. You are all very special and have made a big difference in the lives of Becka and myself. I love you all!


It looks like the best option for Becka is to go to the Caribbean for cancer treatments. We are about ninety nine percent there. We are waiting on insurance, then we are sending her south with a couple of people, probably Ruth and her parents. I feel that God is leading us that way, and we are going to go the extra mile. No regrets. 


I'm going to put her to bed and go myself. God Bless all of you! Thank you for everything, and please pray for guidance as we move forward! 

Day 222

It's Saturday night and a very good day! Becka is doing good today, and we have a full house! Andrew from Ohio, Jen and Cat from TN, John and Laurie from VA, and a couple of others are here to see us! It's been an excellent day, that's for sure. It has made Becka so very happy to see all of these people! I will take pictures tomorrow and post them tomorrow night. Joel and Fern are here with the baby, and Laurie's daughter and boyfriend are here as well. It's like a family reunion! Everyone is so full of love. Jen and Cat brought Becka a great big basket from her friends at UNUM, and Ruth's friend Karen Ferguson sent Becka a box full of goodies. I love this! Becka is definitely beloved. Tomorrow is going to be fantastic as well. We had a wonderful supper tonight courtesy of my Mother. She fixed a huge ham, squash casserole, macaroni and cheese, creamed corn, and brownies, and we had fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy. Becka's parents ate with us, and they are staying in Riedsville at a mission house. They will be back tomorrow after church and we are going to celebrate! Life is good today.


This is going to be short because I want to visit with everyone, and Becka is ready for bed. Good night and God Bless. Same time tomorrow!

Day 221

It's finally Friday and it's been an emotional day. Actually, it's been an emotional year, but some days are worse than others as far as how I feel. We got pretty good news today from Becka's doctor. She had her radiation treatment and then we got to talk to him. We told him about the doctor in the Caribbean who wants to treat Becka, and how he says he will treat her cancer. He looked the doctor up on line and said that he was indeed familiar with the treatments, and they are experimental in the United States. We are doing everything possible to get her down there. She doesn't need a passport and insurance will pay for the treatments. Now we just need to figure out how we are going to pay for her travel to and from the clinic. If God wants her there, he will lead us and show us how to make that possible. I'm talking to Unum again on Monday as to how we can cash in her life insurance. 


Becka has already gone to bed and I'm not long behind her. I'm just waiting on the sun to go down. I'm leaving for work around eight in the morning. Becka's parents got here today, and our good friend and brother in Christ Andrew is on his way! He will be here around eleven. I'm going to lay down for a few hours before he gets here so that I won't be obliterated. 


Please pray for God's guidance. We are looking for a miracle and we haven't given up hope. I'm praying for signs and wonders as to which way God wants us to go. Thank you so very much for the support you are giving to us. Several people will be here tomorrow! I can't wait to see them all!


God Bless and sweet dreams!

Day 220

It's Thursday night and it's time to fight! Becka saw another doctor today, one of the best brain cancer doctors in the state by the way, and he recommended starting her on another type of chemo. Any new suggestion is a good one at this point. We are grateful to God for the options he is giving us. We are also trying to get her in to a treatment facility in the Caribbean. We can cash in her life insurance for half it's face value, and I can cash in my 401K if needed, or at least take out a loan on it. It doesn't matter, as long as it works! We will sell everything and start completely over if it gives her one more day. 


I'm doing as many side jobs as possible. Everyone is helping out, and we are so very grateful! I was on the phone for a long time today with the doctor in the Caribbean. He explained his treatment methods. Here is the problem that we have faced all along. Becka's cancer started in her lungs, then spread to her hip and her brain. She underwent radiation for the brain cancer, then chemotherapy for the cancer in her body. The reason they can't treat brain cancer with chemo is because of what's called he "Blood Brain Barrier", which is a wall of blood vessels that surround the brain and protect it from intruders like Chemo, so the Chemo never gets to the brain. That's why they use radiation. The doctor in the Caribbean administers Chemo through the mouth, and he says he's had good results with treating brain cancer. At this point we are willing to try anything. There will be no regrets. I'm not going to look back in five years and say, "What if". All of our bases will be covered, and I don't care what it costs. I have a kidney for sale if anyone is interested! It looks like we will be having several yard sales!


All that matters to me is for her to be okay. It's been that way since I met her. I've never wanted to be anything else except for her husband. She is my one and only desire, and the love of my life. If there is anything that can be done to fix her, we will try it. Then, if she doesn't make it and she goes to Heaven, ONLY then can we say that it is God's will, so we have to try. 


There are so many people coming in this weekend! I can't wait to see them all. Friends and family from all over will be here, and I say "the more the merrier"! Becka needs the support, and so do Ruth and me, so come on down to North Carolina, and please be careful! I will pray for your safety right now!


I'm going to bed. Good night and God Bless! Love you all, mean it!

Day 219

It's Wednesday night and I just got home from work. I got off of work early today then went back to work. I'm so grateful to God for providing me the means to make money. I'm not mad anymore and I'm ashamed of my anger, even though I can't help the way I feel, but only what I do. I think I'm going through stages of emotion. There really isn't anything to be mad at except cancer, and I need to let God fight it because I can't. 


I'm totally exhausted so this is going to be kind of short. We have two reasons to rejoice tonight. Three really. Number one, Becka is okay. Number two, we are trying to get her in a clinic in the Caribbean to treat her cancer, and number three, Gina will be here tomorrow! I can't wait to see Gina and Becka is giddy! I so wish she lived closer, but we will take what we can get! As far as the clinic is concerned, the doctor there has extended the lives of many cancer patients by treating them with chemotherapy through their mouths so that it can get to their brains. As long as we have options, we have hope, and I don't care what it takes, but we are going to try. God is leading us because we are praying for his will, so if he wants her to go, then so be it. All will be revealed one day, but until then, we are running on faith. 


Please keep praying as I know you will. The Lord has blessed me beyond comparison, and just for today, I'm happy! Sweet Dreams and God Bless!

Day 218

It's Tuesday night and my gut is hurting and my heart is pounding. I'll tell you why later, but there are so many things to worry about I can't keep up. I'm so afraid of everything today, and it seems, every day now. Paralyzing fear is a regular part of my life. I go from emotional outbursts to panic attacks during the day and it feels like my heart is going to bust out of my chest. I definitely need counseling. I feel like I finally got a normal life and a family after all of these years, and it's being taken away from me. I just want to slap myself and yell "Man Up". A friend of mine told me today that I was a "rock". I'm more like a duck on a pond. Above water all you see is calm, but below the water is chaos. I want so much to be at peace, but tonight I'm angry and resentful. More will be revealed, but I can tell you this. I'm not the kind of guy that goes down without a fight, and apparently neither is my wife. She's sleeping on the couch right now. I'm fixing to go put her to bed for the night and pray she is okay all night. I don't need any added stress, although some feel like I do. I'm going to pray for those people, and walk away from them. The only thing that matters right now is my Baby. Her happiness is my only goal in life right now.


We will get through this as a family, because that's what we are. I've been here at ground zero from the start, doing what I feel like was my part because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. This is the only life I ever wanted, and I will fight for it until there is no breath in my lungs. You can take that to the bank. One side note, I'm looking for a target right now, so this isn't a good time to find out whether or not I will snap. I'm sorry if I sound mad, but it's because I am.


I have a lot of paperwork to do tonight, so God Bless and sweet dreams. I'm going to put my anger to the side and love on my Angel until I can't stay awake anymore. Please keep praying, and I know you will, because all of you care, and I love each and every one of you.

Day 217

It's Monday night I think. I worked fourteen hours today. It was a very productive day though, and I got to see my Uncle Kirk. He always has a way of picking me up. It looks like it's going to storm so I'm going to write this fast because I'm outside on the deck. Becka has had a good day. Ruth is taking very good care of her. She went to her radiation today and she is still on the steroids. It's wonderful to have Ruth here for many reasons. She takes fantastic care of Becka and the kids, and she calms me when I'm camping out in my head. We are all in this together, that much is certain! Ruth cooked a fantastic supper of pork chops and mashed potatoes tonight. I'm going to sleep like a baby, because I'm exhausted. After we got home from the beach yesterday, I got a call from my mother saying that my step brother Daryl was in the hospital. He's on life support and they are keeping his heart beating with drugs. PLEASE keep him in your prayers as well as his father Steve and the rest of the family. Anyone who knows Daryl is aware that he has a heart of gold. I've known him all of my life. Daryl will give you the shirt off of his back and he has always been full of love. The problem is the same with everyone else. He has his demons. We all do, it's just that some are more destructive than others, and Daryl's have always tried to kill him. I'm praying for him to recover quickly. His father is married to my mother, and I've said many times how wonderful of a man Steve is. This is hurting him and everyone pretty severely, so I pray that God lifts him up tonight.


The love of my life is sitting on the couch and she doesn't know I'm watching her. I'm always watching her because she's fun to look at for a heterosexual, alpha male. She's a hottie, that's for sure! I love the pictures that Ruth posted on my blog. She worked on it this morning, and maybe you will be able to tell how good of a time we had through them. Sometimes pictures can be deceiving, but not these. This beach trip was so full of love and memories, and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.


I'm going to bed because it's going to be a long day tomorrow. Becka has her Aredia treatment in the morning as well as labs, and then she has radiation in the afternoon. I'm getting off of work early to pick her and Ruth up so we can go to the lawyer's office for legal stuff, then we are meeting with the kid's Dad and stepmom, and maybe we can go to taekwondo tomorrow night. Like I said, a long day.


God Bless and keep those prayers coming please! We need theme and so does Daryl. I'm going to bed with a gorgeous, beautiful Angel, right after I tell her how gorgeous and beautiful she is! Sweet Dreams!

Beach Trip in Pictures!

 

Hi all, This is Ruth, Becka's Sister. I told Randy that I would upload pictures from our beach trip for you all to enjoy. This first picture is of a necklace that a friend of mine made for Becka that she loves. It got here the day before we left for the beach & she rarely took it off. Just one of the many little surprises of this weekend.

 I love this picture of Becka! She's so beautiful! We had some fun picking out this hat & then Randy got the man to sale it to him for 1/2 price! She's eating a pineapple from the HUGE fruit basket that her friend Andrea sent to the hotel for her. All the fruit was delicious! Her friend Vicki sent a basket of daisies, Becka's favorite flower, to the hotel too. :)

If you know Becka, then you will know how much she dislikes grammar mistakes. :) This sign was on the elevator doors at the hotel where we stayed & guess which floor we were on...yeah, the FOURTH. Did you notice the misspelled word? :) Thankfully, the note was wrong. It did stop on the fourth...it just got stuck there. Thankfully, Randy figured out it was because it wasn't closing right.

 

Becka & Autumn! Two beautiful gals! :) 

Enjoying the chairs & beach umbrella that Randy rented for the day.

Aren't they cute?

 

My beautiful sis! Love this picture! 

 Sunrise walk!

Randy created a monster! Boogie Board Boy! :) 

Love my sister! Sunrise!

 Then the best part of the trip for Becka...attending the Medieval Times Dinner & Theater! I can't tell you guys how much sis enjoyed this evening! Just see her smile! That tells you everything. It was fantastic!

Amy, Becka's friend from Chattanooga, drove all the way up from Chattanooga to spend the weekend with us & she & her boyfriend attended the Medieval Times dinner with us. J:)

At table ! :) They served us Garlic Bread with Tomato Soup that was homemade. It was delish! Then we had half a chicken that was one of the best chickens I have ever eaten. They also served potato wedges & ribs with the chicken. Finally, we had an apple pastry for dessert. Dessert wasn't that great, but the rest was yummy!

If you know Becka, then you know how much she loves horses! This white horse from Spain opened the show & it was beautiful! Her favorite. 

*A beautiful moment ~ As we left the Medieval Times Dinner, a man who was also bald came up to Becka & said, "You have cancer also?" Then gave her a hug & said, "I love you". It was such a sweet, beautiful moment! Kindred spirits in this hard battle called cancer.  

Final morning at the beach. Becka is holding a flower that Andrew caught for her during the Medieval Times Dinner! "Our" knight threw it our way & he was sure to get it for his mom. So sweet!

So much in love! I thank the Lord all the time for bringing this wonderful man into my sister's life! He loves Becka so well & takes care of her so lovingly. We are truly blessed to have Randy in our lives. He's a great stepdad to the kids too.

Day 216

It's Sunday night and we are home. We had a fantastic beach trip, mainly because Becka had a good time. It meant the world to me for us to be there, because Myrtle Beach South Carolina is where Becka and I honeymooned. The memories are powerful in my mind, and painful at the same time. Where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday we were walking down the aisle. Now we are facing this together, and my heart is confused. I've never been so full of love, and so full of sorrow at the same time. At any given minute, I'm laughing my head off, and crying uncontrollably the next minute. I feel so useless and helpless. I want her to get well so badly, and there is nothing I can do about it except stay by her side, which is exactly what I'm going to do. Becka has an appointment with one of the best specialists dealing with brain cancer in the State Thursday. We are praying hard that he will give us some type of alternative solution like a clinical trial that she can be a part of. I am trying my best to stay in today. Every second together counts. I'm also trying not to grieve, because even though she's hurt, she's still right here. I stay up at night just to listen to her breathe, I watch her from across the room, and I touch her every time she's in arm's reach. All that matters is right now at this moment. There is absolutely nothing I can do about tomorrow or yesterday, but for right now, my sweet wife has her feet in my lap, asleep on the couch.


 I've never hurt his badly, ever, so I don't even want to think about hurting any worse, but I'll tell you this. No matter how much this has torn my heart out all the way to my soul, if I had known it was going to happen, I would still be right here beside of her. The years we have spent together have been the best of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. No amount of pain could have kept me from her. She's my soul mate, through and through. I'll never understand what she saw in me, but today she sees the love in my heart through my eyes, my words, and my actions. She knows how much I love her, but she will never truly know how I feel about her, because I can't express it in words. 


I've been trying my best to be mad at God. Not consciously, but I don't understand this. I'm not so presumptuous that I would second guess God's will, but usually during the day, there are times when I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and punching something. I can't be mad at God though, because I know three things. He loves Becka more than I do. He didn't give her cancer, and I'm going to need him to survive this and be sane. I'm reading from the book of Psalms right now. The pastor that married us called me tonight. He's an incredible friend, and he's coming by this week to pray with us and counsel us as well. I love him very much.


I'm headed to the hospital. My Stepbrother is there and they just called and said for us to come. He has been on a respirator. He's my age. Unreal. This has been some year I tell you.


God Bless and I will post every day from now on. I didn't have WIFI at the beach, and I wanted to spend it with Becka, Ruth, and the kids anyway. Same time tomorrow and I love you all.

Day 215

It's Saturday and this is going to be short. We are at McDonalds in Myrtle Beach using the WIFI because the hotel's isn't working. Becka is having a fantastic time. We are going to "Medieval Times" today, and the rest of the day will be on the beach! God Bless and I will update the entire trip when I get back on Sunday! Much Love!

Day 213

It's Thursday night and I just got home. I had to run to work for a bit, and I took Autumn to practice driving. She starts driver's education on Monday, and I've been working with her for a while now, so she will have a leg up! She's very good. I'm glad this day is almost over. My head is fixing to come off. The physiology of the human body is amazing. I've found that when I laugh, I feel better, but when I cry for days on end like I have been doing, I hurt all over. I made the decision that I'm not going to grieve anymore. There is nothing to grieve. A wise old friend once told me that I needed to cease the deliberate manufacture of misery. That definitely applies here. Tomorrow after radiation, we are taking my gorgeous wife to the beach, and we are going to have fun! God Bless Becka's brother David and his wife Sue, and her two sisters Ruth and Debbie for making this possible. Also, God Bless everyone who helped out with this trip. It seems everyone is chipping in. I can't tell you what it means for Becka to be able to feel the sand between her toes, smell the ocean air, and walk in the water on the beach with the kids. This trip means more than any other ever has. I only wish that the whole family could be there. I'm praying that one or more of her friends will show up, but I know that a lot of you are on your way to North Carolina. Please get here soon and safely! All are welcome, and the more people we have the better. She needs the support, and so do we.




We made Becka an appointment with one of the top doctors at Baptist Hospital concerning brain cancer. We are taking her Thursday afternoon and they are transferring all of her records. We are pursuing every avenue available. This is a fight we aren't going to lose gracefully. Her doctor today was very pleased with her progress since last week. Her speech is better as well as her gait. The steroids are working, so he doesn't think there was any brain damage! He thinks there was swelling, so she is okay for now. They are still giving her radiation every day, so please keep praying. I know that I don't have to say that, but I need to write it, if you know what I mean.


I will be updating my blog every day from the beach, and we will have TONS of pictures to post and make albums out of. My computer is acting up, so I'm going to go ahead and post this quick. God Bless and thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I love you!

Day 212

It's the Fourth of July, Wednesday night, and we just got home from a great fireworks show. The Town of Lewisville always goes all out on it's fireworks. Becka, Ruth, and the kids enjoyed it! Today has been a very emotional day. This experience has changed me forever. I need to go back to yesterday. I was at work, and Becka's doctor called me. He is the Radiology Oncologist that has given Beck all of her radiation treatments. He told me in a loving way that there wasn't anything else they could do for Becka. The first round of radiation she had were "targeted" at her tumors. This round isn't. They are merely showering her brain with radiation to keep the tumors from spreading as quickly.  He gave me a time frame as to how long he thinks she will live. I fell down on my knees in pain and couldn't breathe. 


When I gained my composure, I called Becka's sister Ruth. At first, we weren't going to tell her what the doctor said. He told me that he never tells his patients what he told me, but he thought I should know. I love the man, and I completely understand his reasoning. I carried that with me home, and all night it was on my heart, then I woke up this morning after sleeping about an hour last night, and went to work. I called a couple of friends including a pastor friend of mine, and they all agreed that I should tell her what the doctor said. There were so many reasons to tell her that I can't count them, and only one reason not to-my fear. Becka needs to be in on the decision making process. She needs to know what she is facing, and if she has unresolved issues, then she has time to make them right. So I called Ruth and she agreed. I came home and we had breakfast. Ruth cooked omelets, and then we sat down and told her. I can't describe the emotions. There aren't words and I'm not going to try. That amount of grief shouldn't exist. After we gained our composure, we made the decision to tell the kids, so we did. We all cried together as a family, then I did what I'm supposed to do as the man of the house. I told them all that we don't need to grieve right now, because there is nothing to grieve yet. We still have her here. We can still hug and kiss her, tell her we love her, and be the family we have always been. I'm not going to act like she's gone, because she isn't, and we would only be wasting the time we have left. We are all going to the beach Friday. Becka's family paid for the trip, and I can't say thank you enough. There are people coming from all over to see her, and we need as much comfort and support as we can get. I've said before and I'll say again, Becka is beloved. I told the kids that nothing they feel or say is wrong, and to be open with everything so we can help them. They need to be able to express their feelings, and no one can tell them how they should feel. We are going to get through this together.


We have not given up. We are taking Becka to Wake Forest Physicians, Baptist Medical Center Oncology, and we are sending all of her records to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston Tx for review. If either of them say they can treat her, I'll do whatever it takes. We all will. This family is tight, and we are all on the same page. Becka's sisters are incredible, and we are in agreement on everything. She is willing to fight to the end, and so are we. If they think they can help her in Texas, we will be on a plane tomorrow. All that matters to me right now is for her to live as long as possible, and for the kids to be okay. I'm sure one day that I will fall completely apart, but not right now while there is still hope. God knows my heart, and I'm giving it all to him, so whatever happens, I will give him the Glory through it all, no matter what.


I'm going to bed so that I can get up during the night and check on her. If you love someone, hold them tight tonight and tell them how you feel before it's too late. One thing is certain. Becka knows how I feel about her. I have no regrets. These past four years have been the best of my life, and I want forty more. Only time will tell, but just for today, I have the love of my life, my soulmate, and the object of my affection, right by my side. I'm going to make the best of today, and pray that I can have it again tomorrow.


Good night and God Bless!

Day 211

It's Tuesday night and I'm on the back porch, thinking about the right words. There are things I want to say on here tonight and I can't. Not yet anyway. The feelings and emotions running through me are paralyzing and they fill me with fear, but I have to hold it together right now. I want to start out by saying thank you to those who donated to the cause. It is very much appreciated! God Bless you and it won't be forgotten.


I'm having trouble gathering my thoughts right now. All will be made clear some day, but right now it's like I'm looking out of a bubble. Our friends Joel and Fern brought their new baby daughter over and I held her tonight. That helped a bunch. I can see the face of God when I look in the eyes of a newly born child. The innocence and frailty make them so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with me guys! I needed it.


I'm not sure where life is taking us from here, because it's all in God's hands. I'm just along for the ride. I know all about his infinite wisdom and his grand plan, but I just can't see it right now. Maybe I'm not supposed to, or maybe I'm not looking at it correctly. Either way, nothing makes sense to me right now, and even though I'm mad at God, I need him more than ever. Kind of an Oxymoron. 


I'm going to try and lay down. Becka is doing well tonight, even though her arm is hurting her. I'm fixing to put her to bed. God Bless and thank you for standing with us. I know that I need every last one of you, and I always will.

Day 210

It's Monday night and this day has flown by. I worked twelve hours today, trying to catch up, but I never will. That's the beauty of it! It's called "job security". I'm working with another mechanic all this week because he wrecked his truck. 


Becka is doing much better. She's very tired from the radiation, but her speech is normal now, and hopefully she will be able to relax. Last night in bed, I watched her for a long time. She has spasms in her sleep which concern me, but she's okay for now. I'm praying all day and night, so I know God hears me. I love her so very much. She's my heart and soul, and she has made me in to the man I am today. Everything I do is to better her life, so I hope I'm succeeding. She has radiation every day except Wednesday for the Fourth of July, and then next week for a couple of days. Ruth is taking her to her appointments, and her just being here is comforting to me. I know now that we don't have to go through this alone. Becka is much stronger than I am. She has the will to live like no other, and her faith in God is strong. This cancer is trying it's best to get her, but we aren't going to go out without a fight. 


We are still checking on the Cancer Treatment Center, and Ruth found a center in Houston Texas called the "Burzinski Center". They have a great success rate and they treat with genetics using a side effect free treatment. We are keeping all of our options open, but that sounds like a good one! 


I'm very tired and I need to eat something. God Bless and I don't have to ask you to keep praying, but I will anyway. Your prayers mean so much. Ruth put a "Donate" button on my page for me, for those of you who asked for it. Thank you for your generosity. I won't forget it, that much is certain.


Sweet Dreams, and if you have sweet dreams, please tell me about them. Mine aren't very good right now. The enemy is attacking me with fear and sorrow, but I'm keeping my head up and doing what I need to do to get through this. It will all be okay, and we will laugh again, one day.

Day 209

It's Sunday night and my heart is okay now. I just got off of the phone with Cancer Treatment Centers of America. We are going to get Becka in. She will either be going to the Philadelphia location or the Chicago location, but either way, it's a "win win". They want her to finish her radiation first, but then she and I will be flying out to meet and greet. They pay for everything, the air fare, hotel, meals, etc. The big thing is that they have an eighty percent success rate. We are going to do anything we can to save Becka's life, no matter what it takes. Both of the people on the phone said they would be praying for her. That was all I needed to hear. Looks like a road trip! 


Ruth is here! I'm so glad. She's such a great sister, and now I can concentrate on work a little. Becka's parents are making arrangements to come soon, and hopefully her sister Debbie will as well. Becka is beloved by all who know her, and I'm the luckiest man alive. I'm truly blessed to have such a gorgeous, wonderful, fighter for a wife. She's tougher than anyone I've ever met. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Becka, and the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris!


I feel better about the situation. All gears are turning and we are going to win this one. God is good and merciful, and he will guide us! I think he is guiding us right now. Cancer Centers will save her, so that is where we are going. 


I just put her to bed, and I'm going myself soon. God Bless and good night. Please keep the prayers coming!