It's Tuesday night and I'm a basket case. Some days are better than others. This wasn't one of them. I've been in "self pity" mode all day. I guess my emotions are catching up with me. All I thought about all day was my wedding day, and the day Becka and I met. Our memories aren't over yet. I called four times down to the Islands where Becka is going. We are trying to raise some money through a fund raiser that you will find on my facebook. My email is Disciplennc@aol.com. Send me a friend's request and I'll add you if you aren't already a friend on there. My memories are carrying me through this and hurting me at the same time. An amazing thing happened to me today though. I dreamed about a poem I was writing last night. In my dream, I just kept writing and didn't have to think about it, and when I woke up, I remembered it word for word and put pen to paper. I added to it a little, and one day I'll post it, but not right now. I think it was my subconscious telling me what to write. This helps me to post how I'm feeling, because it allows people to help me through this. We had so many people come to see us this past weekend. God Bless all of you! You all played a part in making Becka and myself very happy! I wish all of our friends were closer.
There are outside influences causing me more pain than I need. The bad part is that it's all in my head, because I know they aren't trying to. Let me just say this. This isn't the time for any controversy, so please just save it for later. Everyone has their own motives in this, but it's not time to act like Becka is gone, because she isn't. I have proof, she has her feet on me as we speak. The doctors in the islands are going to be able to help her, I can feel it in my soul. It's like God is saying, "Get her there as soon as possible". This is how I feel. If we do everything possible, and God takes her to Heaven, then it's truly God's will. Randy's will is for she and I to be sitting in matching rocking chairs in thirty years. We shall see!
God Bless and I'm going to bed. Becka has had a very good day. She got some new shirts, pants, and a new phone that fits in her hand better. We had an upgrade to spare at Verizon! Life is good tonight, and that's large in part to all of you! Thank you for your support and God Bless you all. Love you guys!
