It's Tuesday night and I'm on the back porch, thinking about the right words. There are things I want to say on here tonight and I can't. Not yet anyway. The feelings and emotions running through me are paralyzing and they fill me with fear, but I have to hold it together right now. I want to start out by saying thank you to those who donated to the cause. It is very much appreciated! God Bless you and it won't be forgotten.
I'm having trouble gathering my thoughts right now. All will be made clear some day, but right now it's like I'm looking out of a bubble. Our friends Joel and Fern brought their new baby daughter over and I held her tonight. That helped a bunch. I can see the face of God when I look in the eyes of a newly born child. The innocence and frailty make them so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with me guys! I needed it.
I'm not sure where life is taking us from here, because it's all in God's hands. I'm just along for the ride. I know all about his infinite wisdom and his grand plan, but I just can't see it right now. Maybe I'm not supposed to, or maybe I'm not looking at it correctly. Either way, nothing makes sense to me right now, and even though I'm mad at God, I need him more than ever. Kind of an Oxymoron.
I'm going to try and lay down. Becka is doing well tonight, even though her arm is hurting her. I'm fixing to put her to bed. God Bless and thank you for standing with us. I know that I need every last one of you, and I always will.
