It's Saturday night and I just got home from work. Becka is already in bed. She had a big day and was tired. I woke her up to pray and take her steroid, then she laid back down. She went a bunch of places today and I had to work, then we came back here, took a nap, and the whole family ate supper together. I love it when we can all spend time like that.
We just prayed for God's will and direction, and I would ask that you would do the same. We are torn here, and time is of the essence. I found out that the cancer clinic isn't in operation yet in the Islands, and they don't know when they can take any patients. We are still in "GO" mode, and are making preparations. We are looking for signs from God as to what he wants us to do. Everyone here is scared and hurting inside. Becka is the most wonderful, sweet, loving woman I know, and she doesn't have an enemy in the world. Some days nothing makes sense, and I feel anger in my heart for what she is going through. It's times like that I have to remember that God didn't give her cancer. I'm selfish when it comes to her. She owns my heart, so when she is sick, it is too. Life has meaning when I'm in her arms, and there is nowhere else I want to be. I'm still praying for the same thing I was praying for 200 days ago-"time". Time with her is all I want or need. Everything else is secondary right now.
I'm going to lay down with her and watch her sleep. God Bless and thank you for all that you do. The support we have received is incredible. One day I will make it up to you, but for now, I'm going to lean on you a while longer. I need you to carry me to the finish line.
Sweet Dreams.
