Day 330

Tuesday night and I just got home, again. Today was a very busy day. The supervisor of the Energy department came to my store and worked with me all day. I was up and down the roof hatch a dozen times. We did a bunch of work in hopes to save energy. I found myself talking about Beck all day and he listened. He's a good, Christian man who has been with the company for thirty years. It was fantastic of him to come and help me all day. He is the top dog at the company in the Energy department. He created the department and wrote all of our setpoints himself. There isn't anything he doesn't know about operations, and he loves to teach, so I was blessed to be with him all day. I'm constantly learning because I keep an open mind and don't act like I know something if I don't. 

I have to make this short tonight. I'm very tired and I need more sleep than I've been getting. I got home from work today and gathered the kids. We took off and went to the drug store to buy some bandaids and stuff, then we went to the Mall. Andrew told me yesterday that his new glasses were hurting his ears. I checked and sure enough he has sores behind his ears, so we took his glasses back and they gave him another pair. He picked them out and we went to Ruby Tuesday's for supper, then we went back and picked up his new glasses. He looks great in them and they fit much better! I'm glad because he hasn't had a headache since he started wearing them. God is good! He has blessed us recently. Even though Beck isn't here anymore, God is all around us, carrying us through this. 

I got home today and there was a package for me. It was from the funeral home. They made me cry finally. They sent me a candle holder with Beck's picture on it, a picture with a poem in it, and a list of grief counseling. There was also a beautiful card. It was the second time I had cried today. I always cry in the mornings when I wake up and she's not beside of me, and tonight I walked out and had a few minutes to myself when I opened the package. 

It's very cold and the wind is blowing. Winter is coming and the leaves are falling off the trees. Life is much different tonight than it was a year ago this time. I dread the Holidays. We are going to my Mother's house for Thanksgiving this year. Beck and I always hosted Thanksgiving, but I told everyone I couldn't this year. I'm cooking the turkey though. It won't be the same without her, but nothing ever stays the same. Change is a part of life, and I need to learn to deal with it. I haven't gotten there yet, but I'm better than I was a couple of weeks ago. We will make it through this together, and one day we will all be together in Paradise with Beck showing us around. I'll bet she's having fun tonight. I'm glad she's happy and not hurting anymnore.

I'm calling it a night. Sweet Dreams and God Bless.