It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm sitting at the hospital watching Beck go in and out of consciousness. She can't seem to relax. She goes to sleep, then snaps awake. I've seen this before. It's like deja vu. When my Grandfather passed from cancer, it was like this. I just put her earbuds in and I'm playing her music from her Iphone. She still knows who she is and who we are. She knows what is happening but I don't think that will be the case much longer. I'm praying for God to give her peace right now. She woke up several times last night and pulled her port out again. After the nurse put it back in and redressed it, I took a pillowcase and draped it under Beck's shirt, then tucked in in on the back so that if she scratched at her port in her sleep, it wouldn't pull out. She's on the strongest pain medicine she can be on, and she's having to take it every hour or two because she's in pain. I went home this morning for a little while and took a nap. I must have passed out because I woke up three hours later. I got up and took a shower, then came up here. Ruth and the nurses had given Beck a sponge bath and I brushed her teeth for her. The doctors have told us that Beck doesn't have much longer here. They say maybe weeks and she will be going Home to Heaven. We are going to maybe see about getting her in the Hospice Home. A representative is coming by sometime today. I'm going for a walk. I'll write more later.
I'm home now and I'm fixing to take Andrew to his taekwondo testing. Ruth and her Parents are with Beck until we get finished, then I'm going back up for the night. I met with Hospice and we are moving her to the Hospice home tomorrow if her doctor goes along with it in the morning. I will write more when I get to the hospital tonight.
God Bless.
