It's Tuesday night and everyone is gone but Beck and me. It's been a long day. This will be a little short because I'm running on pure desire to stay awake. Beck and I were up all night. She has a "port" surgically implanted in her chest that she had put in before she started Chemo last year. This allows the doctors to tap an IV straight in to her bloodstream through her chest. For the last two nights she has pulled it out in her sleep. It bothers her skin sometimes so she starts scratching and eventually pulls the needle out. I woke last night to beeps and alarms telling me that her IV wasn't feeding anymore because it was out, and she was bleeding from her port. Both times I call the nurse and stop the bleeding. It's easy to put back in, but it wakes us both up and she needs her sleep. I was up all night because her breathing was so labored and I could hear the fluid in her lungs. She was gasping for air a couple of times, so I sat her up a little in the bed. That seems to help. I fell asleep around five this morning, then woke around seven when Ruth got here. I don't know how I'm still awake except I've been eating sugar all day. When I lay down I will probably crash, but I don't want to. I want to be awake for her. Beck's legs have changed colors due to the blood clots. She lays in bed on her back and stares at the ceiling while her right hand is in the air. Last night she was talking to someone. I believe it might be Jesus telling her it's okay. We are going to try and get her up tomorrow to walk a little, but she is still on very powerful pain medicines. The doctor wants her to try and get up. Tonight is going to be a long night, but I'm so grateful for all of the people who came by to see her today, and for all of you who pray for her. God Bless you. She's snoring right now and resting peacefully. God is in charge, and she could walk out of here. It's always been in his hands.
I went home to do a few things today but I couldn't seem to get it together, then Ruth called me and told me Becka was in pain, asking for me, and her blood pressure was spiking, so I drove a hundred mph to get back here, and she was okay. If I get some sleep tonight, I'll take care of several things tomorrow. If not, then they can wait. She is all that matters.
I'm calling it a night. I will update if anything happens during the night, but my mind isn't working properly and I just can't think straight.
God Bless and Sweet Dreams.
