Tuesday night and we are still here! It's been a little over a hundred days since Beck was diagnosed. It feels like a lot longer. She's been sick for so long now that it seems like years. I am in awe of her every day. The way she carries herself, never complains, insists on doing things around the house even when she's sick, and the way she loves all of us in spite of her illness, all of that tells me how wonderful my wife really is. She's selfless. I would be the biggest baby of all time. It's always been in my nature to use things to manipulate people and I know I would probably use my illness to get what I want. I've changed quite a bit since I accepted Christ and found my conscience, but the old Randy is still in there somewhere. The bible says we are new creatures when we are born again, but the nature of man is evil, and I have to remember that when I say or do anything. I went on a rant tonight about the Democrats in congress. I don't know why I let it get to me so much. There is nothing I can do about it, but I have to admit that resentment is a rush. All sin is or the devil would never be able to get to us, so I need to repent and pray for those that I feel have wronged me or my family.
Becka had chemo today, eight hours worth. The doctor was elated at how good her blood counts are! That is exceptional news by the way! They went over their plan with her about what to expect, depending on if the chemo has started putting her cancer in remission. If her tumors haven't shrunk, they are going to attack it more aggressively with different types of chemo. ANY options are wonderful no matter how horrific they may initially be. The doctors are going to save her life, no doubt in my mind. They said that her weight loss, (50 lbs), and the loss of her appetite is normal. I can't WAIT to take her out to eat when she gets her taste for food back. Anything she wants! Her favorite restaurant is Genghis Grill, but we can eat Japanese, steak, seafood, it doesn't matter to me, as long as she is enjoying it.
I started reading a book today called "Finding your Faith" by Kenneth Hagan. A good friend gave it to me. It is full of scripture and Paul's writings pertaining to healing. I've only read a little bit but so far what I can take from it is that healing comes from the faith of the person that is being healed, not from the Pastor who is praying for that person. Healing comes from faith, and faith comes from the word. Becka's faith in the fact that God is going to heal her is what will work. Without her faith, it's all smoke and mirrors. When the sick woman in the crowd touched Christ's garment and was healed, the healing came from her faith. Becka's faith is strong, but she needs all of you to pray and lift her up, and so do I. She's been beaten down for a long time now, almost a year since she felt good, and that takes an incredible toll on anyone going through it. Please continue to pray for her, and please pray for her family as well. Her Parents have grieved over this. They need to be lifted up as well.
Ruth cooked supper again tonight. I was so tired that I came home and took a nap, and now I'm going to bed for good. Thanks for everything. Things are looking up! She's getting better, and even though she has a way to go, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train coming!
Sweet dreams and God Bless!
