It's Monday I think. I feel like I'm in a bubble. We went to bed last night around ten. The phone woke us up this morning at 2am. The power was completely out at one of my stores, so to make a long story short, I've been up for seventeen hours now. I got up and went to work at 2, finally made it home about 4:45, made some coffee and the kid's lunch, got them out the door and got Becka settled, fixed her some eggs for breakfast, and went back to work. I'm supposed to go to taekwondo in a few. I'm really debating it. I think I'm going to go because I need the workout and we get to sleep a little later in the morning after the kids leave because she has chemo. I know one thing. I'm definitely going to sleep good tonight! I brought some fried chicken home for the kids. Becka ate half a breast, and she will eat more of it tomorrow. She's been feeling better today thank the Lord, but her vision is still a little fuzzy. She thinks that her head might be swimmy instead of her vision, so let's hope so. Starvation will usually make one dizzy!
Believe it or not, I'm going to head to class. Be back in a bit!
Back home and Becka was waiting up for me. Her head is hurting again so I gave her a pain pill. I warmed up the bed a couple of hours ago so it was easy for her to relax, but she's coughing so much, and the stuff that is coming out of her lungs isn't normal congestion. It's some kind of foreign matter, dead cancer I hope. I pray with all of my heart that her lungs are expelling the dead tumors because the chemo is working. I need to talk to someone who has had lung cancer, and that will be tomorrow. She has an appointment in the morning and I'm taking her for chemo. It's a short one so I'll be able to go to work afterwards. I hope that we can talk to the doctor tomorrow. I have several questions to ask him.
Becka checked her old messages yesterday and there was one from her OBGYN. He is the doctor that operated on her last year, one month before she was diagnosed with cancer. Apparently he received the information from her Oncologist, and he left her a message telling her how sorry he was. His voice broke and he started crying during the message. Doctors are trained to be empathetic, and to disconnect from their patients, but after meeting Becka, he apparently knows how special she is. Doctors are human too, even though we tend to put them up on a pedestal. I guess it's because we put our lives in their hands. When they go to work, it means more than usual, but they have feelings just like us, and his came through loud and clear. We will go see him in person when she recovers.
I need to go eat something but I don't know what. My Stepfather gave me a box of Count Chocula cereal last night that he had been hiding. They only sell it around Halloween here. If anyone wants to send me a box, that would be fantastic! I let Andrew have a bowl for breakfast. Something as special as Count Chocula has to be shared! He and his sister really are great kids. They are smart, strong, respectful, and they love their Mama. What else can you ask for? I'm so glad my son is back in town so that I can see him more often. I'm proud of him as well for working as hard as he has been. I pray that God directs his life, but only he can let that happen. He has started taking Taekwondo. I SO hope he stays with it. It is so good for the body and mind. My Master tried to kill me tonight. When you run a forty four year old man back and fourth without paramedics on the scene, you have to wonder! I know that it is prolonging my life, and I never dreamed I would be able to kick over my head and break a board, so I think I'll stick with it for now!
My boss sent me an email today. The director of my entire department gave me permission to work any hours or shift that I want to in order to get my hours in. MAN I work for a great company. Thank you Lord! I know it comes from you!
I prayed with Becka tonight after I gave her a pill and tucked her in. When I pray these days, it's more like a conversation. I'm not praying for the church with my hands in the air so that everyone can see how enthusiastically I am praying. Granted, I love praise and worship, but lately I have taken a hard look at my motives. If I want my prayers to go farther than the ceiling, I have to be talking to God, not just going through the motions. I'm praying from the heart, and I know for a fact that he hears me, loves me, loves her, and wants us to be happy. It's the enemy that attacks my thoughts and emotions. He is able to do this as long as I'm in this earthy, fallen body. One day, all things will be set right, and the King of Kings will be all there is! I truly believe this, and I don't think it will be much longer the way the world is going. Things are pretty bad, but for now, I have my own house to deal with, and I'm grateful for it.
I'm going to eat and go to bed. Please pray that everything goes smoothly tomorrow, and that the stuff that is coming out of Becka's lungs is supposed to be. She mentioned that she might have pneumonia, with all of the vertigo and dizziness, fuzzy vision and all. I think she wanted me to stay up all night again........lol.
God Bless!
