It's Sunday and it seems like all I've been able to write about was bad news, but today has been blessed. Becka has been up quite a bit today and she's felt good comparatively. I fixed her some eggs this morning and a turkey sandwich for lunch, and for supper I cooked a chicken in the crock pot and made some home made mashed potatoes. She's laying down right now, but it's okay. I see a lot of improvement and I'm thanking God for that! She only has one more day before her next Chemotherapy treatment, so I pray that tomorrow is even better for her.
It's funny. I remember that I used to want to win the lottery so I could buy a bigger house, a sports car, a new FORD truck, and a boat. Now I wish I would win the lottery so that I could stay home with her all of the time. I'm so very grateful for Debbie and Ruth staying with us, but I miss her so badly during the day. My body goes to work but my mind and my heart stay here. When I think about it, I've been in so many situations and life changing events in my forty four years, and in every case I adapted to my surroundings and accepted the way things were, but not now. I haven't become "comfortable" with this in the least, nor have I accepted this as normal. I don't think I ever will, and I don't think I really have to, to tell you the truth. I'm going to keep fighting with my last breath to get her well and enrich her life, and I'm going to keep praying that God will lead us out of this, rather than have him just make it better for the time being. I'm not accepting anything short of her complete recovery and remission. Becka has cancer, Cancer doesn't have her. This is all like a bad dream, and one morning we are going to wake up and life will be normal again. I have to believe that, but until that day, all my beautiful wife has to do is look beside of her and she will see me. I am exactly where I belong, as well as where I want to be.
Gonna take a break. I'll write some more in a bit.
Watching the Pro Bowl! It's sad that there are only two games left this year. It's even sadder that the Redskins aren't in the Superbowl.......AGAIN. I wish I could buy the team and fire EVERYBODY, then start over. One of my best memories of all time was when my Grandfather and I went to Panther's Stadium in Charlotte North Carolina to see the Redskins play the Carolina Panthers. My Grand Dad had battled prostate cancer for years and he was sick, but nothing was going to keep him from the game. He and I were all "Skinned" up. He had on his leather Redskin jacket, (which I now have), and his Redskin hat. I had on warpaint. We sat in the middle of a bunch of Panther Fans. I remember before that game, the Panthers had won every home game in their franchise history, but the Redskins beat them that day. The Panther fans didn't give us a hard time because they knew my Grand Dad was sick. He was such a wonderful man. He fought cancer for twelve years but it finally won. There is no doubt where he is right now. He cared about the Lord, his family, and his dog. I can't wait to see him again and hug him tight. He never got to meet Becka. I'll introduce them in about fifty years, God willing!
Becka is up and she just ate! I can't express how wonderful that is! I'm going to bed early. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning, and I need to work four tens this week because I'm taking off Tuesday to go with her and Debbie to Chemo. God Bless you all and thanks for dropping by to read this. It helps me to express my feelings because unless I write them, sometimes I don't recognize them. Right now, this very second, I'm grateful. I pray that I stay that way!
Good night!
