It's Sunday night and almost time for bed. Today has been a very long day. I left this morning a little after seven to take Becka's sister Ruth to the airport in Charlotte. It's about two and a half hours round trip, but I needed extra coffee because we were up all night. I got up with Beck four times, then she got up by herself and fell walking through the living room. Luckily she caught herself on the piano. She says she doesn't even remember getting up or why she did in the first place. My son Dillon was sleeping on the couch and she scared him awake. It could have been a lot worse. I guess I'll have to tie one of her legs to one of mine. I know that sounds like a joke but it's not. I don't want her to get up without me. She's disoriented and sleep deprived. Anything could happen. Anyway, it was emotional at the airport with Ruth. I'm glad she is getting to go home to see her family, but I miss her already. It's comforting to know that she's here when I'm not. Becka's Mother is here and her father just got back this evening from Florida. He was supposed to be here tomorrow, but he drove straight through. I thank the Lord he made it here safely. I don't want this to sound sexist at all, but it's very comforting to have a man here when I can't be, especially a man of his stature.
Today was a good day and we had fun. We met JC and Carmen for lunch. I pushed Becka in her wheelchair to the table at Olive Garden. They were running late but we ordered an appetizer that got to the table at the same time they did. Carmen is doing much better than last time I saw her. She had a stroke a while back, and she's still paralyzed on her left side and has trouble walking, but at least she can walk and her speech was very good. JC is a very committed man. He loves his wife the way I love mine. We married them for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and you know the rest. He understands what my days are like, and vice verse. It's kind of a brotherhood. Today was a big step for Carmen. She doesn't like people looking at her because she's self-conscious, but she felt very comfortable around Becka. She gave both of us hugs and we had a fantastic meal. I had some type of dish that was stuffed noodles with four different kinds of cheese in a fabulous sauce. Becka had a seafood Alfredo dish. JC had chicken Parmesan, and Carmen had some soup and a salad, then we shared an appetizer and some bread. We were stuffed. By that time, Becka was worn out, so we came back here and she took a nap, and I mowed the front and back lawns and trimmed. Now I'm ready to fall over, literally. I just fixed Beck some lasagna and gave her the last steroid of the day. She's laid back in her chair and I know she's ready to go to bed. I already gave her a bath and put lotion on her head where it's cracking open due to the radiation.
We had a very honest conversation today about life and death with JC and Carmen. We all know that eventually, we are going to be with the Lord, but it's still not something we want to happen right now for some reason. I guess if we knew what Heaven is really like, we wouldn't think twice about it, but God has put in our hearts the desire to be with the ones we love. It had to come from him. I know that I long for Becka. The time we have spent together is priceless to me. I have all of these images in my head of things we have done together, and I want more. I want more memories like today. More date nights and long walks on the beach. More school recitals and plays. More family vacations and Christmas's. More birthdays, Easter Mornings, and anniversaries. I want more, but that's up to God. I guess if I had to pray to him and use one word to ask what I wanted, it would be more. That is why it's so important to treasure every second together. Time disappears like the blink of an eye, and that's okay. It's not how much time we have that is important, but what we do with the time that God gives us that really matters.
I'm going in to kiss my Baby and put her to bed. Sweet dreams and God Bless.
