Sunday night already. We are watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. I must say hats off to the Brits. They did a great job. The United States rocked and rolled. We won the most medals, and the most gold medals. American exceptional-ism still exists. Today was actually a good day. Becka's Dad is leading us in a bible study at night. We cooked barbecue chicken and corn on the grill tonight and we all ate together, then I baked a red velvet cake. Becka's appetite is still ravenous because of the steroids, which is very good. I'm so glad she is eating. She cuts down to one steroid a day starting tomorrow, then she has an MRI of her brain this Thursday, and a CAT scan on Friday. We will know a lot more this week. I fixed her lift chair and the clothes dryer today as well, so it was a productive day.
I am totally spent, and I'm going to bed in a few. I'm so torn inside about what to do, and I would appreciate any input. Put yourself in my shoes. I'm taking FMLA and I've been told my several of my supervisors that my job is secure, but I'm still working. Becka's Mom and Dad and her sister are here for her, but there are a couple of things that she only wants me doing. On one hand, it's therapy for me to go to work and I'm making money, but on the other, I feel like I shouldn't leave the house. Every time I leave I'm full of fear and I can't wait to get back. My heart is here. I know she's fine when I'm at work because they are taking fantastic care of her, but I don't want to miss anything. I want to be by her side constantly. I really don't know what to do and I'm praying about it. We will know more after the tests, so I guess I'll just wait and see how things go. In the mean time, I going to try and make as much money as I can, I'm so full of fear all of the time. Nothing makes sense to me anymore and I have no peace in my heart at all.
I'm so tired so I'm going to try and talk her in to going to bed now. Good night and God Bless. Please pray for wisdom and strength to see this through.
