Tuesday night and it's like living in a nightmare sometimes that just gets worse. I went to work this morning, and I've come to the point that I'm not going to be able to work anymore. I'm applying for FMLA. My boss is submitting the forms for me. I need to be here with her right now. Her parents are here and they are wonderful. They are taking good care of her, but she can't get up or walk by herself. She sent me a few text messages today at work hinting that she needed me here, so I took off at 2:30 and hurried home to find that she had fallen in the bathroom and couldn't get up. My heart sunk because she was crying and waiting for me to get there. They have had her on massive doses of steroids and they are bringing her off of them which effects her motor skills. I picked her up and held her for the longest time. We danced last night together when I picked her up off of the couch. I need to be here for several reasons, and my boss is fine with it, but I'm still taking FMLA. I'm taking the kind where I can work during that time and the days I take off won't count against me.
I'm sorry but I'm torn up inside today. The sight of her sitting there on the floor waiting on me broke my heart, and I was already upset. The President of the United States used a woman who died of cancer in an attack add so that he can try to win re-election. That is all I will say about that here because I've never included politics in my blog. (That's for my Facebook Page). I called the "Sean Hannity" show and talked to a producer who told me that it was too late in the day for me to be on the show, but she is going to call me tomorrow and have me on. I also talked to "Bo Snerdly" today. He is the producer of the Rush Limbaugh show. He is going to try to get Rush to call Becka tomorrow, but she doesn't know it and she's already gone to bed. I tucked her in a while ago, then I re-dressed Autumn's wound. It's healing up nicely and she only has one more antibiotic to take. Her little brother was born today! Seth Clouse came in to the world this evening and everything went fine. The mother is doing good and he weighed over nine pounds!
Becka and I had a talk tonight. I told her that I wanted her to live for a hundred years, but I had to prepare for the worst and pray for the best, because if she does go to Heaven, I will be a basket case. She understood, and we prayed together as we do every night. We always have since before we got married. Some people ask us why we have such a good relationship. That is the biggest reason. We put God at the head of everything, then we can sit back and enjoy each other rather than look for the fault. When I look at her, I see no wrong. I see the perfect woman who God created for me. I told her tonight that I wouldn't be able to get through this if I didn't know she was saved and that she was going to live forever. I said that I knew she wanted to stay with us, but when she got up there with the Lord, she would wonder why she wanted to stay. I want to grow old with my wife, but right now the most important thing for me is for her to be at peace because we are both full of fear and anguish at times. I'm clinging to her so tight that if God wants her anytime soon, he will have to tear my fingers off. We have faith in the Father's plan even though we don't understand it, but one day we will. For now, we know that all we have is today, and we are making the best out of every second that God gives us together. We are also giving him thanks and all of the Glory for it. Time is so precious. I wish it hadn't took me this long to find that out.
I'm going to watch a little of the Olympics then go to bed. Good night and God Bless as always. Same time tomorrow I hope.
