Wednesday and my heart hurts. I just put my Baby in bed at 6:00 in the afternoon. The Chemo is kicking in and she's feeling lousy. She was shaking, nauseous, and her head was hurting, so I gave her some meds and she laid down. It's like a bad dream that never ends sometimes. I'm so ready for her to feel good again. I understand now why some people opt to not go through the treatment, but she's strong and her will to get better is ferocious. I look through the dark bedroom and see her laying there peaceful since the medicine has kicked in, and I try to think of things that will enrich her life. I know I can't wish this cancer away, but I'll bet WE can pray it away. How about we give it a try! I know that many of you who are reading this pray for Becka every day, and I'm here to tell you, God hears your prayers. She is going to recover from this. God WILL heal her. I can't see it any other way. My whole life and future depends on it. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but when it comes to Becka, I am absolutely selfish. She's that special. Her love accounts for a large portion of the joy in my heart. I don't just "want" her to get well, I need for her to.
She's resting peacefully now. I'm waiting on the Duke / Carolina Game to come on. I'm hoping for the hat trick this week. The Giants won the Superbowl, Rick Santorum won three States yesterday, and Duke will beat Carolina....that will be the triple threat! I pray that Rick Santorum wins the nomination. We need conservatism to lead us out of financial bondage, and he's the best candidate. I've been trying to convey to our kids how important and how dangerous things are right now, with all that is going on in the world, it's like reading from the book of Revelations. Israel has no choice but to attack Iran soon. Egypt and Syria are in states of turmoil, and the stage is set for the return of the Lord. The kids ARE going to know how important these things are whether they want to or not. Talking to teenagers is like arguing with a talking wall that sends a text message every five seconds.
I just got back from picking up Andrew at Taekwondo. We have some guest Masters this week. One of them is only nineteen years old, and she's the National Champion in Form, (Poomse). She and another young master are here from Young In Taekwondo Academy. To watch them is absolute poetry. Becka is still asleep. As bad as she was feeling, I hope she sleeps all night, even though she didn't eat anything.
Our lives are permanently altered. Our future plans are unclear, but we have one common goal. Stand by her until she is well. No matter what it takes. We will be moving soon. I can save five thousand dollars a year by moving just a couple houses away. The same size house and I can move us with a wheel barrel. It's a no brainer, but we are waiting for the go ahead. I hate to move, but to save four hundred dollars a month, I'll move everything in this house by myself! I would love to stay here, but it's not feasible. We need the money.
Good night and God Bless all. Please pray for my wonderful, sweet, beautiful, Angel of a wife. For those that don't know her, take my word for it. She's the most giving, caring, lovely woman I have ever met. I still don't know why she chose me, but I'm eternally grateful and dedicated to her. She owns my heart!
