It's Wednesday night and I have praise reports! Becka slept all night thanks to the Grace of God and modern medicine. She has a fantastic doctor who listens to her and cares about his patients. So far so good. She had eight hours of Chemotherapy yesterday, and she's feeling good today. We all had supper as a family, which I love by the way. We had vegetable beef soup. Becka had vegetable soup, and she made some cornbread. It's wonderful to see her eat and enjoy her food. She has another chemo treatment in three weeks, and they will do a scan at that time. EVERYTHING depends on that scan. Please pray that the treatments are shrinking the tumors.
I moved to the back porch so that the solace will allow me to put my thoughts in to words. I heard a fantastic sermon today from David Jeremiah on "doubt". I've had many doubts in my life and in my walk with God. Pastor Jeremiah said to express them, then pray about them and give them up to God. Do I doubt that God will heal Becka, do I doubt that he can, do I doubt that Christ was God as a man and is the only way to God. The answers to those three questions TONIGHT are no, but I have to admit that through all of this, sometimes I have doubted God. It's okay though, he can take it. God holds no offense towards his children. He is big enough for me to get mad at sometimes because he knows that I'm trapped in this human body with these human emotions and I'm being attacked at all times by the enemy who wants me back. Satan's greatest weapon is doubt. If he can make us believe that there is no God, he has us and he knows it. The difference is that God is omnipresent. The breeze that just swept through my hair and sent fantastic tingles down my back is God telling me that no matter what happens, it's going to be okay, no matter what.
I was talking with a very good friend of mine yesterday who is actually one of the men who helped lead me to Christ. He is having personal troubles, and it reminded me that sometimes I may be oblivious to what is going on around me, and I'm not the only one hurting right now. Everyone has their cross to bear, and I need to reach out more and help rather than be helped, because if I can enrich someone else's life, I've done God's will for me. He wants us to love each other unconditionally according to his word, and I've been way too slow to forgive. I need to remember that if my savior can pray for those who tortured him, mocked him, then crucified him, I can forgive those who wrong me, and I can put myself in a position to help them, no matter how wrong I may think they were. I feel sorry for those who are living in a broken marriage, existing together but not loving each other. If only they knew that I will do anything it takes to have more time with Becka. I need years with her that only God can give, yet some people are miserable and they have each other within reaching distance. It's time to come together for everyone of God's children. It's time to put away our differences and look at our similarities. It's time to pray and worship together, and love one another like never before. Time is something we don't have, none of us. Our time could be over tonight, and what we do with every second is important. I'm going to spend the rest of my life letting Becka know how wonderful she is to me, and how I need her clear down to my soul. I'm going to let God know every day that he is number one, I love him with all of my heart, and I'm grateful for the life he has given me. The way I let him know that is the same way I let her know, through my actions and words. Everyone, including me, always remembers the one bad act of someone, and forgets the ten good ones. I am trying my best to look at everyone through God's eyes and see the beauty in them. Life is so very short, too short to hate, argue, complain, covet, or resent. If I don't have it in me to love, then I am going to pray that God gives me what I need, because ultimately when I'm upset with someone else, they are not to blame. There is always something wrong with me. How and when I react is all that is important, and if God will give me the one thing I truly desire, I will make the best of it, and that one thing, is Time.
I'm still praying for my Mother and Stepfather. Their loss is incredible. Everyone who has pets knows what they are going through right now. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. My Mother is an angel. She stood by me and kept me alive when others had written me off. My stepfather is more like a father to me. He is an incredible, God filled man. He is the best thing that ever happened to my mother, and I know for a fact that God brought them together. If you want to see unconditional love between two people, all you have to do is look at them. I have modeled how I treat Becka after the way Steve treats my mother. I love them both very much indeed!
Good night and God Bless. I'm going to watch the debate and go to bed early. Thank you, so much!
