Thursday evening and all is well. Today has been a better day for Becka. She has felt better and has ate a little, but she still has absolutely no energy. I just got back from Taekwondo and she's asleep. I'm not far behind her. I'm going to get the kids in bed then turn in myself. I love curling up next to her, laying there watching her breath in the darkness. She says she feels like it's easier to breath, so maybe the Chemo is dissolving the tumor. I can't wait for them to scan her and tell us it's working! When she gets well, it's going to be a night like tonight when she and I will be walking on the beach, feeling the sand beneath us and smelling the ocean. The moon tonight is so big that it looks like it's in the back yard. It's absolutely beautiful.
It seems like ever since Becka got sick, I notice things that I didn't before. I don't get as mad at people who cut me off in traffic. I don't take it personally when someone is short with me, because I have no idea what they are going through at home. I make a point to pray for whoever I tell that I will, and I'm talking to God more now than I ever have since I was saved. I'm trying my best to see the beauty in the world rather than the negative. I have always been very political, conservative, Republican by choice, and I looked for the bad in Democrats, but today I prayed earnestly for our President. Even though he and I may differ greatly on which way this country should go, I saw him today as a man who went to law school, excelled in everything he's done in his life, raised a family with beautiful children, (and he's obviously a great father), and made it to the highest office in the land. Those are incredible accomplishments that should be admired, so I prayed for his safety. This life is so short. I can either fill my day with fear, resentment, rage, hate, and other negative emotions, or I can do what my Heavenly Father tells me to do in his word, Love him with all of my heart, and all of my mind, and all of my soul, and love my neighbor as myself. I've found from experience that the latter of the two works much better!
I'm going to kiss my wife, rub her back, and fall asleep listening to the sound of her breathing. I pray that I fall asleep that way for the rest of my life. I can't see it any other way, or my gut gets all twisted, I can't breathe, and I'm no good to her or anyone else. Sweet dreams all and God Bless! Hope to see you tomorrow!
