It's Wednesday night and all is well. I feel great! I slept good last night, I've felt good all day, and I'm writing this early because I'm going to Taekwondo in about an hour. I had a GREAT class last night. It was so good to see everyone, and we had one hard workout! I loved it! My legs feel like spaggeti, but it's okay. In a couple of days the pain will be gone. The only thing missing at taekwondo was Beck. She loved it, and I wish you could have seen her face when she won a trophy in front of the entire class. There was this look of amazement, then emotion. She got up in front of the entire class and Master Lee gave her the trophy, then she gave a short speech. I was so proud of her. She had accomplished so much in a short period of time. I wonder what she's doing right now!
Okay, that is why I'm ending my blog on Friday. I love to tell Becka stories, but I don't make it through them without falling apart. About five minutes have passed since I typed that because it hit me all at once. I can picture her there and the look on her face was priceless. So many memories, so much to miss about her. Her happiness was what I lived for the last year of her life. Anything she wanted, I made arrangements to get, but Beck didn't want for anything. She was very simple in her wants and needs. I just wanted to make the last months of her life on this earth the best I could. Autumn and I went driving tonight. She's a great driver and I feel very comfortable riding with her. The entire time I was thinking that I wished Beck was there to see her little girl all grown up. Our little family will never be the same, but we are still family. Some things change and some don't, but the love we share for each other grows by the minute. Andrew wasn't feeling good tonight when he got home from taekwondo class. His stomach is hurting and I gave him a nexium, so please pray for him. He may have gotten too hot but I'll keep check on him.
I got my motorcycle permit today! One step closer to the ER! I'm going out riding this weekend with some guys. I need to be around guys right now. I'm lonely, hurt, and frustrated. I don't trust myself, and I don't want to hurt anyone, so the more testosterone the better! I know that I'm vulnerable, so I have to accept my limitations and weaknesses, and deal with the the way I think God would want me to. It's all in his hands anyway!
I'm going to get ready for class. Sweet Dreams and God Bless! Only two more days of this. Thank you for reading it. I pray it's done Becka justice so that everyone will remember how wonderful she was. I will never forget.
