It's Thursday and we just had a great pizza. Spinach parmigiana! Debbie has been cleaning and taking care of Becka all day. Beck is feeling good thank the Lord! I can tell that she's feeling more like herself. I worked all day and ran like a chicken with my head cut off. Some days are slow and others are like today when I have several emergencies, all in different directions. I'm glad that I go to the doctor soon because my sciatica is hurting. It does when I drive a lot. Right now I'm relaxing as much as that's possible these days. Andrew and I are going to Taekwondo tonight. I'm going to early class so that I can watch the last debate before the South Carolina primaries, even though I already know who I'm voting for. I'm voting for Rick Santorum in the primary, and whoever gets the Republican nomination in the general.
The past month has been like a carousel. My emotions have been so extreme that I have felt almost bipolar. I really do have faith in God that he can and will heal Becka. I just don't know when and how he's going to do it so I'm scared. I try to avoid most people during the day and just do my job, because I break down and cry at the drop of a hat. I know that will change when she is in remission, but for now it tears me apart to think about something being wrong with her. I've waited thirty years to meet the love of my life. God reached in and gave her my heart. Before I met Becka, I knew I would never marry again, but God had other plans for me, and she truly is everything to me. I refuse to accept that there is anything wrong with her that the doctors can't fix, and I'm relying on what they have said. They are going to make her well.
God Bless and I'm going to break for now. I'll write more later.
Back from Taekwondo and watching the debate. The Duke / Wake Forest game is a blowout. Duke is puttin' a whoopin' on them. The debate is pretty pathetic, kind of like the Republican nominees. The only one I like is Rick Santorum. Becka and Debbie are watching American Idol, and winding down for the night. When I look across the room at Becka, I can't explain in words the feelings that run through me. I'm so proud to be her husband. I'll never know what she saw in me, because I know there were a bunch of guys chasing her when we met, and she could have picked any of them, but she picked me. I give all credit to God. She accepted me with all of my shortcomings. Trust me, I showed up at her door with a tractor trailer load of baggage, but it didn't matter to her. The biggest part of Becka is her heart. Everyone that knows her is aware that she is an absolute angel. She has a magnetic personality, and if I had to sit in a room for the rest of my life with one person, she would be my choice. I know that I go on and on, but I'll say it again. I can't say in words how much she means to me. She is my life and this is the only life I want, so she has to get well. I can't see it any other say. I have tunnel vision, and at the end of the tunnel is Becka on the beach with the ocean lapping at her feet. I can't wait.
I've been rambling a little, but I needed to write good things because I've been crying a lot, and I want to feel joy again, so I think I'm going to kiss my gorgeous wife, watch the debate and her for a while, then go to bed.
Goodnight and God Bless!
