We've almost come to the end of day four. So far so good! I took her to the doctor this morning. She received her radiation treatment, then we met with the doctor. We get to see him every Thursday. He started her on an anti-seizure medication, and another medication to keep her from getting an infection from the steroids. The medicines are starting to pile up. She's still in great spirits and her attitude is to win. This cancer doesn't have a chance. It picked on the wrong woman! It's not going to live through this, but she is. I think I might have a headstone made up : "Here lies Cancer, it tried to mess with Becka and LOST".
I told her today that if she lost her hair, which she probably will, I want it to make a keychain. Even if it falls out, it's a part of her, and we can compare her before and after hair. We can't give it to "Locks of Love" because it's colored, but we can give mine to them.
This whole thing is becoming more real to me every day, and I'm not getting better with it. I'm trying to be strong for her and the kids, but I'm having a very hard time concentrating. Everyone I talk to wants to know how she is, so I have to relive it every five minutes. I know my team mates and friends love her and want to know, but this is dominating my mind and my heart. I can't make it through the day without losing it. I know that God will heal her, and he hears our prayers, but I don't know his plan and that's scary. I need to talk to someone. I'm going to join a support group for family members. I don't have to feel this way alone.
Becka is the one going through this, and she is doing it with her head held high, and her heart open for everyone else. I've never respected or admired another person in my life as much as I respect and admire her.
I brought Bojangles chicken for supper. That made everyone happy! It's the small things that matter....
More to come!
